Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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