Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
