This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
