that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
