So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
