Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
