What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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