overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
