just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
