it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
