you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
