man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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