Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
this boner is exhausting
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
