So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
