It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
