the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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