i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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