Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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