Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
