Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
