I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Dear god my vagina.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
