Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
