i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
