I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize