i would punch a child for taco bell
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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