Im at strip club and am horny
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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