Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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