It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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