Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
