I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
