I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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