He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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