is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
