Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
