ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
