I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Nicole vs. Life
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
