Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize