But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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