I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
