let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
