my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
