I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize