omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
