used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize