I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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