Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
