I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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