I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
