I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize