I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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