thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he puts the penis in happiness.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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