Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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