I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
