i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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