Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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