Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
