am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
