just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
