Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
