You're earring is so big in my mouth
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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