I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
