Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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