dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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