so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
