Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
