is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
