It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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